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Within days of posting my photo and message on Facebook, I had hundreds of people messaging me with their own similar stories. I felt like so many of us go through hard times in life, but we don't always have people to talk to. I want everyone to know that they are not alone! If you want to comment on my stories, please do, but please keep them kind.

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Sunday, August 9, 2015

Chase and Cooper's Story

I wanted to share the story of what happened to my twins.

We struggle with infertility and it took us years to get pregnant, so we were SO excited when we found out we were going to have twins! They were identical, so they were high risk the whole time and I was monitored every few weeks by ultrasound. Around 18 weeks I started feeling some pressure, but I had an ultrasound at the hospital and they said everything was fine. I still felt uncomfortable with that, so I actually changed doctors a few times to find one I felt better about. I found a new specialist based on recommendations and they were able to get me in last minute. I will forever be grateful for this miracle, because had I waited just a few more days I would have gone into labor without ever knowing what had gone wrong or being given the chance to try to save them! My new doctor did another ultrasound and exam and discovered that I had an incompetent cervix which was leading to preterm labor. The other doctors weren't watching for this because my first son was full term. Unfortunately, I know now that this is actually really common with twins. We did everything we could to save them, including surgery and a couple hospital stays, but it wasn't God's will. Eventually I went into labor and there was no stopping it (they won't give any medication to try to stop labor if you are before 24 weeks along, and I was about 22). There is no promised medical intervention for babies under 24 weeks in the US, which was hard, because once they were born I had to watch them struggle to breathe and wasn't able to help them. But they each died peacefully in our arms, and blessed our lives in that short time more than I could have ever imagined. We know that everything happens for a reason, and that we will see them again some day!

When the doctors first saw that my cervix was shortening and the chance for delivering healthy babies was low, they offered my husband and I an abortion. They told us we could just end the pregnancy right there, quick and simple. It broke my heart to even hear it, because I knew we would never do that. We had to fight for our babies! I had seen them in about 10 ultrasounds at that point, and I knew they were alive. I felt them kicking inside of me and they already each had their own little personalities. I just knew we had to do everything we could to try to save them, and we did! Knowing that we tried gives us such peace. We gave them every chance to survive, but in the end it was up to our Heavenly Father and He needed them back home with Him. We prayed for a miracle, but sometimes God answers our prayers in unexpected ways :) Cooper and Chase are our miracles.

I wanted to get my picture out there not to judge or hurt others, but because I feel like a lot of people don't connect the fetus inside of them to an actual baby when they are thinking about an abortion. I just wanted to bring awareness to others so that they could see that these are little people. But I had no idea it would spread like it has! Thanks so much for caring you guys!

19 comments:

  1. Wow, I am so sorry to read about your loss of Chase and Cooper. My heart is absolutely breaking for you, and I'm sending you lots of love. I know the pain and suffering all too well as we went through the exact same thing in December of last year, except that our twins were fraternal boy/girl Adam and Bridgette. Every single point in your story resonates with me, down to the offering of aborting several times after the incompetent cervix was discovered. I will keep you and your family and your precious boys in my thoughts and prayers

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    1. Thank you so much Kathleen! I am so sorry for the loss of your twins as well. Love and prayers to you!

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    2. So very sorry for the loss of your twins. I shared your beautiful picture and thank you for sharing your story and the picture of your precious boys. Sending lots of love and prayers your way.

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  2. I'm so sorry for your loss, I understand the pain of losing a child from IC. I have fertility issues as well and so we were SHOCKED to find out we were pregnant in September 2014. From the beginning of the pregnancy I knew something was wrong but everyone told me it was normal and I was just paranoid because it was my first time being pregnant. After MANY trips to the hospital throughout my pregnancy I started to believe the doctors. On January 10th 2015 my husband and I got married and that morning I woke up I thought I was in labor but I just figured I was nervous, after all the doctors told me everything was okay with me and baby. We revealed the sex at our ceremony with send and everybody knew it was a boy!!! Then on Monday January 12th our world got turned upside down. I started spotting on Sunday but figured it was from dehydration but made an appointment fist thing in the morning. I finally got a call back at lunch time and was told to come in immediately. My husband and I got there around 2:30 that afternoon *it's a far drive from our house to the doctor's office /hospital* we were taken back right away and told my doctor wasn't in but I had a WONDERFUL lady coming in to see me. She came in and tried to check but had to use a probe to look..... I was 4-5 cm dilated! She told me I had IC and he was going to come out today or tomorrow. We were devastated but hopeful as a friend has IC and her twins made it. I called my friend and she came to visit and talk with us about what to expect, we were to far dilated to get an emergency cerclage like her but with the antibiotics and elevation we should be able to do this..... we did great and even became stable so we started talking about being transferred to a better NICU hospital but we had to be stable for a few hours. Just before we hit our safe zone I hit critical again! After a LONG hard battle to keep my son inside Ryan Lee Berry was born Tuesday January 13th 2015 and lived for 2 hours without any help. I was 22 weeks 4 days gestation and he was 1lb 3oz 12ins long..... my world has been a dark broken life since then and I'm not sure when things will get better. If you want to find me on fb my name is Katherine Berry and my profile pic is my son, I thank you so much for sharing your story and if you want to share mine your more than welcome to. ����

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  3. You sharing your story, hopefully changes others way of thinking about abortion. This is the reason. God's work. I am so sorry for your loss & thank you for sharing with us, may God bless your family! Your little boys ate playing in the kingdom with our Savior!

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  4. Thank you for sharing your story. Why I have not delivered preterm babies, I have had several miscarriages. I cannot imagine having carried them that far along, only to lose them here in mortality. It was hard enough with early losses. But, I too, have a a great testimony of our Heavenly Father's Plan of Salvation and I am so thankful for this knowledge. I know that you will see those sweet babies again and be able to hold them and love them again. Thank you again for your story. I know that through your words, you will be able to touch many lives and help many women find peace and answers and the love of our Father in Heaven.

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  5. Thank you for sharing your story....

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  6. Bless you for sharing your story. Those babies are so precious and are now in God's arms!! Thankyou and be blessed!!

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  7. Thank you for sharing am and I'm so sorry. Saw your story on Life News.

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  8. I as well had a incompetent cervix and lost 2 babies one yr apart in my 6thI month!! Eventually I went on to have a son in my 7th month of pregnancy and all ended well! So sorry for the loss of your boys!

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  9. Please join our #standforlife movement and consider sharing your story with www.standforlife.com thank you so much for your bravery! And my prayers are with you and your family.

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  10. I am so saddened by your story. My heart goes out to you. As sad as it is, your precious babies entered thru the gates of heaven into Jesus arms, knowing that what little time they were here on earth, they had a loving mother. So many babies are not getting that. This abortion thing is just tearing me up. I don't understand how a mother can do an abortion on her precious baby given to her by God. I'm praying everyday we can get abortion stopped in this country.

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    1. unwanted pregnancy is not necessary anymore these days, there is enough available on market for a woman not to get pregnant...it starts with a good and healthy sexeducation to the children...first responsibility of the parents!!!...if a woman not can take any form of medication to avoid a pregnancy it is up to the man to take responsibility by using a condom....birth control is a matter of two people who love each other!...it is not a one way road and the only responsibility of a woman cq teen age girl.......

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  11. Their pictures are beautiful. Thanks for sharing. Jesus said, suffer the children to come unto me.

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  12. I am so extremely sorry for the loss of your baby boys! Your story is special, tragic, and beautiful. You are so brave and strong for putting your story out there so that it can reach the lives of so many and can help heal them and change their lives forever. Thank you, tonight i will say a special prayer that you and you family would be touched by the grace of God. Take care and many hugs to you all.

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  13. Thank you for sharing this very sad story. Bless you and your husband for your Christian example. I love the picture of Jesus holding your little boy's, some day you and them will be reunited in Heaven.

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  14. Thank you for sharing your story..
    God Bless you

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  15. I am so sorry for your loss, for God is with you every step of the way. Your two twins are rejoicing with the Lord. You and husband will see them eventually. Bless you. With love!

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  16. I am so sorry for your tragic loss, It is through the blur of tears I write this to you. I understand the struggle with in fertility and the heartache it brings. my husband and I have never been able to carry a pregnancy to term. Our three sweet kiddos have all come to us through adoption. Our middle child was born at 23 weeks. The story we are told is that she was laid aside as her birthmom was in distress and they did not expect her to survive. She cried and then they put her on the ventilator. She is now 6 and has just learned how to ride a bike. I am so very sorry that your hospital did not help your precious little ones. I hope that you are finding peace knowing that they are being cuddled by Jesus.

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