Hi! My name is Heather and I wanted to share the story of what happened to my twins, Chase and Cooper, so I started this blog. I am sharing this story for so many reasons. First, I want to bring a face to these babies who are allowed to be aborted. I am not here to pass judgement, but to show others that these are not just fetuses or blobs of cells inside of you, they are living babies who deserve a chance at life if you can give it to them. I also want to provide a safe place for other grieving mothers to celebrate the life of their own angels, and tell their own stories. I want it to be a community where people can support each other, learn from each other, and honor the lives of their children - no matter how short.
Now for my personal story: We struggle with infertility and have one 6 year old son. We have always wanted more children, but it took us years to get pregnant again, so we were SO excited when we found out we were going to have twins! They were identical, so they were high risk the whole time and I was monitored every few weeks by ultrasound. Around 18 weeks I started feeling some pressure, but I had an ultrasound at the hospital and they said everything was fine. I still felt uncomfortable with that, so I actually changed doctors a few times to find one I felt better about. I found a new specialist based on recommendations and they were able to get me in last minute. I will forever be grateful for this miracle, because had I waited just a few more days I would have gone into labor without ever knowing what had gone wrong or being given the chance to try to save them! My new doctor did another ultrasound and exam and discovered that I had an incompetent cervix which was leading to preterm labor. The other doctors weren't watching for this because my first son was full term. Unfortunately, I know now that this is actually really common with twins. We did everything we could to save them, including surgery and a couple hospital stays, but it wasn't God's will. Eventually I went into labor and there was no stopping it (they won't give any medication to try to stop labor if you are before 24 weeks along, and I was about 22). There is no medical intervention for babies under 24 weeks in the US, which was hard, because once they were born I had to watch them struggle to breathe and wasn't able to help them. But they each died peacefully in our arms, and blessed our lives in that short time more than I could have ever imagined. We know that everything happens for a reason, and that we will see them again some day!
When the doctors first saw that my cervix was shortening and the chance for delivering healthy babies was low, they offered my husband and I an abortion. They told us we could just end the pregnancy right there, quick and simple. It broke my heart to even hear it, because I knew we would never do that. We had to fight for our babies! I had seen them in about 10 ultrasounds at that point, and I knew they were alive. I felt them kicking inside of me and they already each had their own little personalities. I just knew we had to do everything we could to try to save them, and we did! Knowing that we tried gives us such peace. We gave them every chance to survive, but in the end it was up to our Heavenly Father and He needed them back home with Him. We prayed for a miracle, but sometimes God answers our prayers in unexpected ways :) Cooper and Chase are our miracles.
The picture below was posted to Facebook with the following message, and within 3 days it had been shared over 60,000 times. It showed me how much good there is in the world, and sadly opened up my eyes to how many other people had been through a similar experience.
Now for my personal story: We struggle with infertility and have one 6 year old son. We have always wanted more children, but it took us years to get pregnant again, so we were SO excited when we found out we were going to have twins! They were identical, so they were high risk the whole time and I was monitored every few weeks by ultrasound. Around 18 weeks I started feeling some pressure, but I had an ultrasound at the hospital and they said everything was fine. I still felt uncomfortable with that, so I actually changed doctors a few times to find one I felt better about. I found a new specialist based on recommendations and they were able to get me in last minute. I will forever be grateful for this miracle, because had I waited just a few more days I would have gone into labor without ever knowing what had gone wrong or being given the chance to try to save them! My new doctor did another ultrasound and exam and discovered that I had an incompetent cervix which was leading to preterm labor. The other doctors weren't watching for this because my first son was full term. Unfortunately, I know now that this is actually really common with twins. We did everything we could to save them, including surgery and a couple hospital stays, but it wasn't God's will. Eventually I went into labor and there was no stopping it (they won't give any medication to try to stop labor if you are before 24 weeks along, and I was about 22). There is no medical intervention for babies under 24 weeks in the US, which was hard, because once they were born I had to watch them struggle to breathe and wasn't able to help them. But they each died peacefully in our arms, and blessed our lives in that short time more than I could have ever imagined. We know that everything happens for a reason, and that we will see them again some day!
When the doctors first saw that my cervix was shortening and the chance for delivering healthy babies was low, they offered my husband and I an abortion. They told us we could just end the pregnancy right there, quick and simple. It broke my heart to even hear it, because I knew we would never do that. We had to fight for our babies! I had seen them in about 10 ultrasounds at that point, and I knew they were alive. I felt them kicking inside of me and they already each had their own little personalities. I just knew we had to do everything we could to try to save them, and we did! Knowing that we tried gives us such peace. We gave them every chance to survive, but in the end it was up to our Heavenly Father and He needed them back home with Him. We prayed for a miracle, but sometimes God answers our prayers in unexpected ways :) Cooper and Chase are our miracles.
The picture below was posted to Facebook with the following message, and within 3 days it had been shared over 60,000 times. It showed me how much good there is in the world, and sadly opened up my eyes to how many other people had been through a similar experience.
My Facebook Post:
With all this talk of abortion right now, I want people to know that
this is what a 22 week old child looks like. This was just minutes after
my twins passed away after living and breathing for about 30 minutes
last November (Chase, the one on the right, looks different because he
was in the sac without amniotic fluid for a couple days). It is legal to
abort children at this age in way too many places. While I was holding
my babies, wishing they would survive, babies at the same gestation that
could have survived are being torn apart and discarded or sold. It
makes my heart sad. There are so many better options (adoption being my
personal favorite). These are precious children of God. I love you Chase
and Cooper, and I hope someone will see this and reconsider their
choice.
Hi my name is Cassandra and I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a baby girl at 19 weeks. I had her at home. She wasn't growing right AMD when I went for an ultrasound her heart had stopped. The doctor recommended that I go to the hospital for a d n c. I chose to go home I buried her remains in a beautiful flower pot in my front yard. Now Emma grace will always be with me. I have 2 other children that are whole and healthy, she just wasn't meant be. About 7 years later I got pregnant again and was in a horrible situation. I considered having an abortion. But after having lost Emma I couldn't imagine taking my child's life. I gave birth in prison to a beautiful healthy baby boy. I couldn't give him any kind of life, so I picked a wonderful family for him. He is happy, loved, and well taken care of. I have straightened up my life now and take excellent care of my 2 kids. I get letters and pictures of my son frequently. As much as I miss him I know I did what was best for him and that I will see him again someday. Adoption was the best choice for me. Please before you decide to take your child's life, think about it long and hard. Make sure you will be able to live with that decision the rest of your life. Thank you
ReplyDeleteTo Cassandra......I read your story and was so glad that you decided on adoption to your son and that you get letters and pictures about him. My biological mother did the same for me giving me up for adoption when she could of aborted me. Biological mother back in 1969 was unwed Navajo 16 year old young woman. She went to live with her grandparents to hid the pregnancy from family/friends. She placed me in Christian foster home where my family adopted me when I was 3 months old. I thank God and for my biological mother for taking the time to make a decision of me living or not. The family I have now are wonderful since my adopted dad was in the military I was able to have the experience of traveling around the world.
DeleteHeather, you and your family are so brave and an inspiration. I saw your post on my newsfeed when a friend shared it. Your boys are beautiful. I have not walked this walk and pray not to as I am in the midst of my 3rd pregnancy (12 weeks). But I share your passion for helping others to see that these are not things but people. I saw this child's heart beating strong at 6.5 weeks. She looked like a tiny little blob but there was no mistaking life. One month later I was fortunate to see her again. Same strong heart beat but not longer a blob at all. A tiny little person with arms and legs and dancing around in my belly though I have not felt her yet. Today I found out she's a girl. And though I know her now by my these images and my pregnancy symptoms from the moment I found out I was pregnant my life was changed and this child became a part of our family. Only God knows her journey and we pray that he delivers her into this world full term and healthy. And I pray for families that are considering options that nobody should have to consider. And so I commend you for taking the time and having the heart to use your story to inspire others and bring about change. I don't know you at all an saw it. It will continue to spread (I'm sharing it). I pray the God uses your beautiful boys and the other stories shared here to help others see what we already know. These are people, children of God, no matter how short their lives are.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great story. hello my name is Jackie, I too have had a similar experience. When i was 19, I was 27 weeks pregnant with my first child Xander, I had a perfect pregnancy up till that point, I started having a pain in my stomach for three days only when I laid down to go to sleep, I finally went to the ER and found out my baby's heart had stopped. I had to deliver him as a stillborn, finding out I had a blood clotting disorder that killed off my placenta basically starving my son. At 22 we decided to try again and got pregnant with our baby girl Kennedy, perfect pregnancy, took blood thinning shots and got once a month ultrasounds. At 28 weeks I went to get an ultrasound and found out her heart had stopped. Once again had to deliver as a stillborn due to the same complications the placenta died. I was done after that, no hope. Went on birth control, ended up having 3 strokes because of my blood and the BC, was healing from the baby and strokes when 4 months after giving birth I was again pregnant with our third child. I was scared out of my mind I didn't want to lose another one, I couldn't bare it. This time I went to best hospital, found a great doctor, went to 2 appointments every week ultrasounds every time, went to the hospital once a week to get special $15,000 IV treatment done took 10 pills a day and two blood thinning shots my stomach was so bruised from the shots and the baby kicking me. At 28 weeks I started getting pain in my kidneys and was peeing blood clots the size of straws, nothing they could do about it, I was admitted into the hospital 4 times due to complications. At 32 weeks my white blood count was low and my doctor decided the baby had been in there long enough and had a csection, I had two steroid injections to boost her lungs and took steroid pills for 3 months prior. At 32 weeks I gave birth to my 3 lb 12 oz 16 inches long daughter August Annamae. Who breathed on her own instantly and only spent two weeks in the nicu. I had my tubes tied after that, I nearly killed me having her and I knew my body and heart couldn't go threw that again. I was fine I got my one miracle child and my other two angel babies. God needed them more than me. Now my daughter is a year old and walks, talks and is such a happy child weighing 21.2 lbs, 28.5 inches tall and very healthy. I'm so blessed and cherish every moment I have with her. Your story is an inspiration and keep sharing it. You will see your beautiful boys again one day. :)
ReplyDeleteHeather, I am sorry for your loss, but am thrilled you were able to say goodbye. 33 years ago things were very different. Ultrasounds were only done if it was considered necessary. At 19 weeks into my pregnancy I started to have issues with bleeding. The doctor told my to go to bed and rest and nature would take its coarse in the next 24 hours. As the bleeding got worse we went to the hospital and no heart beat could be found. I had suffered a miscarriage and while my husband sat in the waiting room I delivered what turned out to be conjoined twins. They never would have survived if carried to full term I was told, but because of the regulations and laws of the time, we were not allowed to see our girls or bury them. They were disposed of like garbage. We were told we should have aborted them anyway, since they weren't going to have a normal life. They were our children. They were a gift from God. I would have given anything to have at least held them, because it would have helped us to have closure. Abortion is never an option in my opinion. Every child no matter how many weeks along they are deserve a fighting chance to change someones life and the world. Rebekah and Jennifer are in God's hands and that comforts us, even after all these years.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. My little boy Sawyer passed last night, at 15 weeks, after my water broke and I delivered him, in the ER. I took so many pictures bc I couldn't believe how beautiful he was and how amazing his tiny, sweet body was. I held him. Bawled. And said goodbye. Thank you for sharing your pictures and stories. Much love to you and your family. ♡
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss...I miscarried my first son Ethan Andrew 6 years ago...I'm currently pregnant with my child which I believe was supposed to be a twin but I believe I miscarried the twins the beginning of last month and it kind of devastates me because twins run in my family and it's about time for me to have twins.
Delete.thank you for sharing your story and I will continue to pray for you and your family
I am so sorry about your son! Rebecca, I am sorry to you as well. You are both in my prayers!
DeleteI've lost two boys, one 18 weeks, one 21, the last of which died in my arms like Cooper and Chase. I have pictures of both. I was advised not to have a funeral with Cameron (#1) because of how 'awkward' it would be but I knew I needed one. Many friends came. With Markus (#2) I couldn't face it. He was our miracle baby, born without fertility assistance 10 years after Cameron. His death was so hard; I was depressed for a long time. People don't know how to cope with stories like mine so I am glad to find a forum where people who understand can share.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I don't think it's ever God's will for such things to happen. He loves us and He loves our babies.
Thank all of you ladies for your courage. We are survivors. I loved my boys and while I live they are not forgotten.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious boys. Thank you for sharing their story and bringing to light the fact that babies at these gestation are fully formed little people and deserve to be respected, not carelessly destroyed. All life is precious. Right now I am carrying my 24 week son. At 16 weeks he was diagnosed with a fatal condition that will either cause him to pass away before birth or shortly thereafter. Still I will continue to carry him. I am respecting his life, the only one he has to live; it is his life and he deserves to live it out for as long as he is able. He is precious, just like your boys and like every other child in the womb as well as those babies who born and live their lives. They are ALL precious. I'm sharing my son's story as well (through my blog) hopefully to inspire and offer support to other mamas out there who also choose to carry to term a baby despite a fatal diagnosis.
ReplyDeletethank you for your story! ..........adoption is a wonderful option.....snowflakes in california, has preborn embryo's for adoption, extra preborn babies from ivf...............many are unaware ......i want to to get the word out, it is also called nightlight adoptions i think.
ReplyDeleteHeather thank you for sharing your story I commend you for being so brave as to let people know what happened to you in your life and your family...I'm sorry to hear that you lost them so early I am currently pregnant with my sixth child which I blew supposed to be six and seven but I believe I miscarry won the Twins last month Ann I feel your pain as a mother no 5 at the moment I miscarried my first son 6 years ago and at the beginning of last month I started bleeding after my cycle and at the end of it I saw flesh color which I know was one of the babies...your story is an inspiration for all of the other moms and really touches my heart I will pray for you your husband and rest your family that you do get to share in the experience of childbirth again and pregnancy
ReplyDeleteI grew up with an amazing cousin...my favorite, by far! He had been adopted by my aunt and uncle who loved him so deeply, and cared for their precious son with every ounce of energy they had....right up until the end of their lives. You see, my cousin's birth mom had tried to self abort him (with knitting needles), but had failed in her attempt. But she didn't fail in her attempt to maim and injure his little body, and destroy his little brain. My cousin is now almost 60 years old, and has been placed in the care of the State. Though he had years of therapy of every kind, he could never run and play like a "normal" child. He learned to speak only a small handful of words. He wasn't able to go places and see things and participate in activities that "normal" children are able to enjoy. But he is so very special to our family. How sad that his birth mother could not have felt the joy of placing her little boy in the arms of these loving adoptive parents, knowing that he would have been loved and cared for, and that he would have been given every opportunity to enjoy a "normal" loving family life....probably growing up to be a great husband, and an awesome daddy and grandfather. She made a very sad choice that changed the entire life of her child. All she wanted to do was kill him because she and her husband were not "ready" to have children.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you are sharing your story the way that you are. I also lost a baby after a delivery at 22 weeks. My water broke at 16 weeks and I was given the same options as you. It is both the a blessing and a trial. We chose to fight till the end for her and got to spend some time with her before she passed away. I will forever be grateful to the doctors and nurses that were there that day. I have had the same thought as you about abortion. How could anyone see these tiny little people and think that an abortion is ok. As small as they are, you can feel their strength, their love, their little personalities if you just spend a little time with them. Thank you for using your experience to help other babies!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. I had my oldest child at 29 weeks and she spent 6 weeks in the NICU before she came home. I spoke with my doctor about why she was early and he said it just happens sometimes. I got pregnant again when she was about 3 months old. I had done some research prior to getting pregnant about prematurity and causes of it and ways to possibly prevent it. I spoke with my doctor about some of the interventions that could be done and he dismissed me saying he didn't want to put me through all that. I went in for my 20 week ultrasound when they noticed that my cervix looked off. My doctor was in the building and he came down and checked it out and told me that I had started dilating. He gave me 2 choices - go home and see what happens or stay overnight and try get a rescue cerclage placed in the morning (its a stitch put in the cervix to hold it closed). My husband and I chose to try the cerclage. Things went fine overnight. The next morning I was taken into the OR and prepped for the cerclage. Unfortunately my water broke on the table and I was told there wasn't anything they could do. I was admitted to the hospital and told I'd be there until the baby arrived. I was warned that because she was only 20 weeks they wouldn't do anything to try and save her, even if she was still alive when she came out. Later that evening I delivered her. It was heartbreaking for me to lose my baby. She was stillborn, but I held her in my arms and talked to her. I didn't put her down the whole time I was in the hospital. When it was time for me to leave, they came and took her and I started bawling all over again. We had her body cremated and her ashes are sitting in a box in our room. Its been 4 years since we lost her and I still tear up when I think or talk about it. I have had 2 more children since then, both full term.
ReplyDeleteI have a girl aged 2 and a boy 7 weeks before I had my girl I miscarried and then had my girl when she was 3 months I fell pregnant again I had no choice to abort because it was in my tubes again nd I was told if I didn't I could loose my tubes and never fall pregnant again it worse I could die so after talking to my partner about it we went threw with it even though I didn't want to I felt like I had no choice and feel guilty every day over it after that I fell pregnant again but at 8 weeks I miscarried again and then I didn't feel good enough for my partner and taught there was something wrong with me and kept blaming myself no matter how much he told me it wasn't my fault after that I fell pregnant on my baby boy at 29 weeks my waters ruptured and got steroid injections for his lungs and antibiotics to stop any infections and had to stay in hospital for 10 days at 37 weeks there wasn't enough fluid around him and was told I was being induced the following day he wasn't breathing when born and had loads of tubes coming out of him I was never so scared before he was in neo natal unit for 2 weeks and then was left home he is now fighting fit and healthy thanks be to god I never talked about anything I went threw didn't feel like anyone would understand I'm so glad you shared your story still feel guilty about the abortion even though it saved my life I feel like I'm not good enough to be a mother over it I wish you and your family the best for the future
ReplyDeleteI am sorry it had to end like that. May God bless you once more! Was good for me to hear your story and once again made me realize what a miracle I have. Unknown to You and I we were facing the same this the same month. When I was 6 weeks PG we found out were having twins. But one of their birth sacs was half the size that the other one. My Dr. told me I will very likly have a miscarriage with in the next 2 weeks. At 8 weeks we did another ultrasound and both sacs were the same size. WOW. everything seemed to be going until ...On November 9 2014 we had A Dr. Apt. to do an ultrasound and find out what gender our babies are and reg Apt. with my Dr. (I was pregnant with twin boys). While he was doing the ultrasound I felt like something wasn't right. Then to find that my cervix was opening and I was going into labor at 19 weeks. Our dreams were being shattered, tears filled our eyes. My husband kept reminding me our boys are still alive we cant give up HOPE! From the Dr. office we were sent to the Hosp. They didn't actually ask us if we want to do an abortion but kept asking if we wanna do something that some people just wanna wait a few days and then they might be born. NO, we didnt want to wait we wanted our sons and will do whatever we have to for them. We also did a cerclage. the Dr. told us they cant promise that it'l work but that's all they can do. We kept praying and asking God To save them if it is his will. I had to stay at the hosp a few days but got sent home on bed rest because nothing was changing. I had a Dr. apt every week they watched me very close. We prayed that we could at least make it to 28 weeks. All Praise and Glory go to God. I was on bed rest until I went into labor on Friday Feb. 6 at 33 weeks. I gave birth Feb. 7 at 5:10 to 2 healthy boys. I could so easy have faced what you did. Your story was such a good reminder for me to remember what sweet miracles I have. Keep your faith in Jesus!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your family's loss. You are a champion for everything that you have gone through, and for sharing your story and these beautiful photos. Cooper and Chase are absolutely precious. I am a single woman and have a great desire to be married and have children, so I just can't fathom anyone that would take a child's life through abortion. My faith in God is what leads me to know that abortion is not right under any circumstance, it is ending a life. I also respect my body too much to even consider harming it by having an unnatural termination of pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteYour message is very powerful and I know that it will impact those who think abortion is okay. Even if it's just one person, that's a LIFE that you have helped to save! I believe that your story, your pictures, and your words will change more than one person's mind. As Christians we all have to stand up for what is right and defend the life of those unborn, as it is God's will. Some day I believe that our message will get through and we can end abortion. You are an inspiration, and your boys Cooper and Chase are angels in heaven that have touched many lives, including my own. God bless you and your family, and keep on spreading the good news of LIFE!
I saw your story tonight, 8/16/2015 on facebook and I felt I should share my story being with how Planned Parenthood in the news about how fetus/baby not human or have feelings. To me once you find out you are pregnant that child a human being no matter what. At 22 weeks your child a tiny human being but just need more time to develop so he or she can live in the world.
ReplyDeleteMy story pretty much like yours…..I delivered at 22 weeks (18 years ago) because of incompetent cervix which I didn’t know at the time since this was my first pregnancy. During my pregnancy I had spotting but was told not to worry about it but if I was worried I could come in to get checked and I did that for the at least up to 16 weeks. At 22 weeks I began experiencing some pressure and got check and was told the mucus plug was still intact but if I see sign of bright red clotting than get to the ER. That day I went to lay down and when I got up had the sign that the doctor told me to be aware and went to the ER. Got to the ER and trying to get out of the car my water broke….got checked in and the doctor at that time since they were waiting for my regular doctor to get there to see if they could do emergency or rescue cerclage but I was far to dilated and she was breech when I delivered her at 22 weeks and lived only 30 minutes. Even through I carried her for only 22 weeks she was a living person till she passed away. I tired to post on your blog with my google but for some reason it would not let me so I went this route. I would love to share my story that no matter what, at least to me, getting pregnant means a human child/being that should live unless something happens that God feels the child/ren should not be here with us. I think of my daughter, Nadine, every day and wish she was here. Again, thank you for sharing your story.
You had said…
“I just want people to know that there are other options out there and there’s a place to share their grief. It’s okay to talk about it. People are so afraid that people aren’t going to want to hear about their baby who passed away. People do just want to share their story because that’s their child. Most people have never shared their pictures or told their stories.”
With you saying this means so much at first I was able to talk about Nadine but to show on “social site” I just couldn’t bring myself to do it until this year when I posted pictures of my daughter, Nadine, on my facebook page I felt it was time for me to share my story/pictures of Nadine. So for anyone who needs to share and not feel bad please share your story we all know how you feel.
Here are some pictures of my daughter Nadine Nicole. I don’t know how to crop so if you feel you need to you have my permission to do so. The hospital I was at would give the mother a keepsake box with pictures and other items of the child/ren that the mother had lost and if it wasn’t for them I would have nothing.
You are amazing for sharing your story. The heartache and pain is so real even 19 years later. On April 231996, I gave birth to 22week twin boys. Justin and Jessie. They too looked similar to your boys, my Jessie was all blue and bruised. The only keep sake things I had of them where taken from me and lost though I buried them so I have that! Thank you for your strength to share!
ReplyDeleteGod bless you!!!
ReplyDeleteI want to say that I feel your pain, my story in similar to yours. In fact, my sweet twins would be 15 tomorrow. Brian Thomas and Ashlyn Margeart were born at 21 weeks. I woke up to find that I was bleeding and had been in labor and didn't know it (this was my first pregnancy). Even after all of this time I still feel the pain of the loss, it is something that has eased, but will never be erased. It took me 3 years to want to even try again, but I am glad I did. I don't have my sweet twins but I have an 11 year old girl and a 7 year old boy. Because of what I went through with the twins, I feel that God prepared me to be a better mother. I cherish every moment, good and bad, with my children. They drive me insane at times, but I feel that my angels are part of each of my living children. I had only found out that it was twins about 2 weeks before I went into pre-term labor and I am not going to lie I was scared out of my mind that I would be a first time mom to twins. But the excitement I had before became twice the excitement. I started buying little things for them, then the unthinkable happened. I went back to work 2 weeks after my loss and you may think that isn't unusual but I worked at a daycare. This was so hard to explain to the 4 year olds in my class that my babies were angels and it was even harder for me to grasp that I would not have the time with my own children. I received so much support from my family and I had a positive outlook on life under the circumstances. In the months following my loss I missed work 1 day because I just couldn't deal with it.
ReplyDeleteI have the pictures of the amazing babies that grew within me, I held them, counted their fingers and toes, and told them that mommy loved them more than they would ever know. Now that I think of it, they knew and still know, because I have carried them with me minute of everyday since I lost them. For the first few weeks, every night before my husband and I went to sleep we read the old story book that I bought for them called "The Two Too Twins." And then one night I was having a very hard time reading it out loud, tears were pouring and my heart felt as if it could take no more of the loss, then they were there, but not really. It felt as if they were hugging us, telling us we would be ok, I can't really explain what happened, the calmness that came over us, but I finished reading the story out loud for us and for them, without tears pouring down. That was the last night that I felt that I had to read that story to them and to us. I now read it to my living babies every once in a while. Sometimes when I do read it to them I have to fight back the tears, but my kids are so sweet and they tell me that it's ok, their brother and sister are always around watching out for all of us.
Of all of the losses that I have suffered in life, the loss of my twins has been the hardest. It is unnatural for parents to lose their children, but because God had a bigger plan for me and my family I walk around knowing that I have 2 of the best angels there are.
May you be blessed with the peace that I have found with the loss, you will never completely heal, but the pain becomes bearable.
Hi I am Sabrina 38 years old.I just lost my daughter Myracle 10 days back due to cervical incompetence and a bulging membrane. They could not do a cercalage for me because my cervix was too short. I had to be induced to deliver her normally. I was in labor for 8 hrs only to know that I will be delivering my baby gurl and for her to die because she was only 22 weeks in. It was heartbreaking especially since we got pregnant 10 yrs after marriage. We nvr planned this nor did we try or get desperate. We left it in God's hands. I guess she was meant to be an angel and not be for this world. I held her for awhile n heard her pur a small sigh. She responded to my touch. When her dad held her she stretched made a small sigh n let out her last breath. We had a funeral and burial. I could nt attend as I was stuck at the hospital. My husband had to do everything and he was shaken up to his core. I still feel like all this is a dream but deep down I know that God does everything for a reason. Sometimes we just don't know what is that reason. I Know I am getting older but then I am in no rush for kids.
ReplyDeleteThank you Heather for these pictures and story. I felt no one would understand all this but I am glad I found your blog. GBU.
I am so very sorry to read about your story.
ReplyDeleteMy name is Samantha and I was pregnant with twin boys. Aron and Sergio were their names. When I was 16 weeks pregnant I was diagnosed with Twin-twin transfusion syndrome. Basically, the nutrients from the umbilical cord passed through Sergio and stayed with Aaron instead of coming back to Sergio. Because of this, Sergio wasn't getting enough nutrients for him to produce amniotic fluid but Aron was getting enough for both of the babies, so he was over producing. Aron ended up producing so much amniotic fluid that it caused my sac to rupture at only 18 weeks causing me to go into preterm labor. I was only three days away from getting the procedure to fix it. The solution to the problem... But because I was already 4 cm dilated when I made it to the hospital there was nothing that they could do to stop it. If they had done anything to prevent the labor then it would have put my life and both of theirs at risk. So, on May 8th 2014 I gave birth to my precious angel babies. They were so small but so strong. I got to hold them as their hearts beat for four hours after birth. It didn't seem real. It was like a bad dream until the nurse came in to take them away. That was when my brain finally realized what happened and it was the most crushing thing I have ever experienced in my life. I will never forget that day and I will never forget my beautiful baby boys. I now have a perfect 5 month old little girl. I wish everyday that her brothers where her to look out for her but I know they are still watching over her. When I know she is old enough to understand I will tell her their story so that she can know about her big brothers and how perfectly strong they were. ❤️