Chase and Cooper's Story

I wanted to share the story of what happened to my twins.

We struggle with infertility and it took us years to get pregnant, so we were SO excited when we found out we were going to have twins! They were identical, so they were high risk the whole time and I was monitored every few weeks by ultrasound. Around 18 weeks I started feeling some pressure, but I had an ultrasound at the hospital and they said everything was fine. I still felt uncomfortable with that, so I actually changed doctors a few times to find one I felt better about. I found a new specialist based on recommendations and they were able to get me in last minute. I will forever be grateful for this miracle, because had I waited just a few more days I would have gone into labor without ever knowing what had gone wrong or being given the chance to try to save them! My new doctor did another ultrasound and exam and discovered that I had an incompetent cervix which was leading to preterm labor. The other doctors weren't watching for this because my first son was full term. Unfortunately, I know now that this is actually really common with twins. We did everything we could to save them, including surgery and a couple hospital stays, but it wasn't God's will. Eventually I went into labor and there was no stopping it (they won't give any medication to try to stop labor if you are before 24 weeks along, and I was about 22). There is no promised medical intervention for babies under 24 weeks in the US, which was hard, because once they were born I had to watch them struggle to breathe and wasn't able to help them. But they each died peacefully in our arms, and blessed our lives in that short time more than I could have ever imagined. We know that everything happens for a reason, and that we will see them again some day!

When the doctors first saw that my cervix was shortening and the chance for delivering healthy babies was low, they offered my husband and I an abortion. They told us we could just end the pregnancy right there, quick and simple. It broke my heart to even hear it, because I knew we would never do that. We had to fight for our babies! I had seen them in about 10 ultrasounds at that point, and I knew they were alive. I felt them kicking inside of me and they already each had their own little personalities. I just knew we had to do everything we could to try to save them, and we did! Knowing that we tried gives us such peace. We gave them every chance to survive, but in the end it was up to our Heavenly Father and He needed them back home with Him. We prayed for a miracle, but sometimes God answers our prayers in unexpected ways :) Cooper and Chase are our miracles.

I wanted to get my picture out there not to judge or hurt others, but because I feel like a lot of people don't connect the fetus inside of them to an actual baby when they are thinking about an abortion. I just wanted to bring awareness to others so that they could see that these are little people. But I had no idea it would spread like it has! Thanks so much for caring you guys!