Mariah's Story

Our post today is from Mariah. She and I got pregnant and lost our babies at the same time last year, and my heart aches for her.

"In July of 2014 I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend and I at the time didn't know what to do or how to handle it. We were only together for a month and I was already pregnant. I took four pregnancy tests and they all came out positive. Both of us in shock and scared for this big change in our lives. This was our very first child, and it took us awhile to recognize that this is real. When I went to my first ultrasound, I fell in love. Baby was supposed to be born on March 22, 2015 which was the day after the three year anniversary of my mom's death. I hoped baby would be born on the 21st of March to change a tragedy into a blessing. Months went by and my boyfriend started making the baby's  nursery. Our theme was the jungle for a baby boy or girl. My boyfriend working as hard as he could in the nursery - I always had to tell him to come to bed at night. We became excited, happy, and even more blessed. He came home from work and would talk too my stomach and say, "Daddy's home," and I won't ever forget the first time he heard baby's heartbeat. I have never seen him so happy and excited about anything. When I became 21 weeks pregnant we were going in to find out what baby was. The nurse said, " Congratulations its a girl!" and we both started crying. My boyfriend knew the whole time she was going to be a girl. Tears of joy fell from his face because he was so happy to be having a girl. We named her Adalynn Mae Kroll. The next day I got a phone call saying my daughter looks healthy and my ultrasounds looked great, but a week later on November 11th at 12:30am, I started getting pains as I was sleeping. I tried to go to the bathroom but the pain wouldn't go away. All of a sudden I realized I was bleeding. I started screaming and crying at God to please not take my baby. I grabbed the phone and called my best friend at the time who was living with me. I told her to come back to the bathroom with me and her boyfriend called 911. I will never forget the pain and terror I felt. When the paramedics came they assumed I had hemorrhoids and just left me there. As I screamed and cried I begged my friends to take me to the hospital, but I just couldn't move the pain was excruciating. When I went back to my bathroom I sat down and cried until I felt like I had to push. I told them to call 911 because I knew Adalynn was coming. Knowing it was going to happen I calmed myself down. The paramedics came back and put me in the ambulance and drove slowly to the hospital. It was agonizing. By the time I got there I had to give birth to my daughter. When I did the nurse came up to me and said, "I'm sorry... Baby didn't make it," I screamed and my whole body went numb. I started shaking out of control and I just couldn't calm down. The worst part of it was having to tell my boyfriend. The father of my child. I've have never seen him cry as hard as he did. We stayed in the hospital overnight. We got the chance to hold her, kiss her, hug her and tell her we love her. We got her cremated and had a little funeral for her. Till this day I still think about her. I know she is with my mom and grandmother and grandfather now. They will take care of my baby until it's my turn to go. I still have her ashes and I sleep with them from time to time, but I gave her clothes to someone else. Now I can only hope this doesn't happen again. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and thank you for letting me share my story."