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I lost my first child to a miscarriage at 3 months when I was 16 years old. I lost my second child at about 18 weeks when I was 22. I am now 60 years old and I have grieved for my lost children all those years. This year I made a memorial shadow box to help me heal. I named then Claire Bernice after my mother and grandmother, and Robert Clelan after my stepdad and my birth father. I used a doll from Birthright that is the size of a 3 month fetus, and a small doll the size of a a four and a half month fetus. No one who has not lost a child can understand the pain of such a loss. I later gave birth to two children, but still grieved for my children. They are not blobs of tissue, or fetal tissue, but children that God had a purpose for. I believe that someday I will hold my children in heaven.
ReplyDeleteI lost my son Dec 29, 1975 at 20 weeks. He was very much wanted. I lost my second child Apr 18, 1976 at about 6 weeks. My third and fourth (twin girls) were born July 21, 1977 and died just after midnight at 23 weeks and lost my sixth child July 21, 1981 at 8 weeks. I was lucky to have one daughter Nov 9, 1979 who is now a mother who was experiencing the same problem I was having (incompetent cervix) with her first son which she lost at 20 weeks and her last child at about 6 or 7 weeks. She has a son now (he's autistic) thanks to a cervical cerclage which wasn't known about back when I was going through all my painful miscarriages. Every time I would hear of someone finding a baby in the trash or someone having an abortion it broke my heart so bad I wanted to die because it was so unfair for me to lose my babies while other physically healthy women were just throwing theirs away.
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost I want to Thank You for sharing your experience with everyone and opening up the door for others to have a place to come to and tell their story, share in their sadness and heal from the experience of losing of a child. I just want to share with everyone about when I was a student nurse. I had a situation when a young pregnant Mother was admitted for monitoring for vaginal bleeding. She was very young, anxious and alone. I was sitting at the nurses desk when I answered her call light and she wanted help as she felt she had passed a 'huge' blood clot. I went to her, and as I turned back the bedcovers, I found a tiny baby had been delivered. The child was formed but not totally developed...He was amazing...tiny arms and legs with all his toes and fingers.....moving them about and he did have respirations but they were labored and we knew, it was a matter of moments until he would no longer be with us. I asked the Mom if she wanted me to baptize her son and she said yes, so I wrapped the baby in a warm blanket, took him to the sink and with a warm trickle from the faucet, I blessed and baptized him. Since I am Catholic and was at a Catholic school, we were trained this could and should be done. Afterwards, I brought the child to his Mother while she held him to her and with tears, bowed her head in prayer. I sat at the bedside until the Dr. came and then left to give privacy. After reading your stories and viewing pictures of such beautiful creations, I thought of the day way back when I first layed eyes on life in that way. I don't understand for the life of me how anyone can say life does not exsist in the womb at conception!! I have known people who can't have children and want them so badly. Have we become so desensitized we think nothing of distroying the gift of life? God Bless each and every one of you for opening up yourselves to each other, it is so admirable. On a happier note I want to share that on my next rotation it was to the newborn nursery where we received a 4 lb baby boy delivered early from a 16 year old girl who wanted nothing to do with "it". We all quickly adopted "Billy" and nursed him well. On his journey to wellness, he did develope several issues preventing him from reaching his goals for adoption. So...on our next rotation to pediatrics, you guessed it, there was our boy!! Then the day came....Billy was being discharged home to a loving adoptive couple. I often wonder whatever happened to Billy. Is he a Dad? Maybe a Dr., lawyer, electrician, plumber, teacher?? Have our paths crossed on the street somewhere? Who's to know. BUT, if he had been aborted, we all know he would have never had the chance at anything. God knows best, he loves us all. Sometimes we will never know or have the answers to many of our questions. One thing I think we learn from our most difficult times is life is precious and must be handled with care!! Stay well everyone!!
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